Statistically suspicious

We beat it

the odds 
I mean

the long list of reasons
this should have been
another almost

against all odds
in a universe still expanding
recklessly
constantly

flinging stars into corners
that have yet to be created

you
ended up
here
with me

which already feels
statistically suspicious

because there are billions of people
and millions of places
and entire lifetimes
spent never brushing shoulders

the world is enormous
and cruel in very specific ways
it knows exactly
how to keep people apart

do you know
how easy it would have been
to miss this?

how the world is basically built
on people
almost finding each other

and yet
you

in all your impossible specificity
walked into the same small moment
I did

same city
same hour
same breath

what are the chances
that out of everything
dust and distance and time zones and timing
we found each other

tell me that’s not miraculous

because somewhere
there is a version of me
who never met you
she sleeps fine
she laughs fine
she lives a perfectly acceptable life

I don’t like her

because she has never known
what it feels like
to be home

and somewhere
there is a version of you
that feel this strange
quiet absence
like forgetting something important
in a dream

we slipped past all of them
all those lesser lives
and landed here
messy
unlikely
two improbable people
in one impossible place

tell me that’s not a little funny
that after everything
after all that cosmic chaos
we are being ordinary together

 
like that isn’t
the most impossible thing
that’s ever happened.

---

Hello, thank you for reading my diary 🫶🏻

I wrote this piece about my boyfriend and I finding each other under extremely unlikely circumstances. He was born in Germany, and lived in Thailand until 2018 when he came to Canada. I had moved from my small town in Canada to his big city in 2020. We were both in separate relationships at the time, and I almost applied for a job at his company when I moved, but had a gut feeling it wasn’t the time.

It took us until 2024 to meet each other, on a dating app of all things. I had made the account to appease my friends and didn’t message anyone. I deleted all the matches, except for one—his. He was kind and sweet, and asked me on a date, to which I declined.

We talked on Instagram, and I found out after messaging me he had deleted all of the dating apps, even though I had declined his first date. A few weeks later I was drunk at the club for the first time and he was sending me lists of things like “make sure your friends stay close, don’t leave your drink, keep your phone and wallet close” and said if I needed anything I could call him—no strings attached. The next day we agreed to meet up on our first date… which lasted 8 hours.

Against all odds everything worked out, thankfully 😅