In This Version

A poem from my new collection

I learned early how easily a girl 
can be written out of her story

they turn us into salt pillars
constellations and echoes in wells
white dresses wandering aimlessly forever

they taught us to vanish gracefully
how to dissociate for a hundred years
how to be chosen
only after suffering beautifully enough

they call it tragedy
call it beautiful
call it inevitable
but not this time

my fairytale starts here when
I am laughing too loud or ugly crying 
or am stubborn and burnt our dinner
and you touch my face anyways
in a way that says
	I love every bit of you &
		I’m not going anywhere

in this version
no one buries me in a tower or forest
or song sung in minor key and past tense

I am not a warning carved in stone
not a woman who paid for being alive
with her name or voice or body

in this version
I am alive

in this version
I am loved
without needing to disappear first.

---

Hi, thank you for reading my diary! This poem comes from my newest collection, A Crown of Sunlit Things, releasing March 10th.

This came from a place of frustration, but also hope. Stories often show a woman suffering or being saved before she is loved, but I saved myself. I left my abuser. I chose (despite how hard it was) to leave, and grieve, and grow, and try again. I wanted a version of a fairytale where they both choose each other, where the story starts after the princess is saved.

This collection is built on romanticizing the after—falling in love with life, seeing yourself grow old with someone you love, drinking tea with too much honey, and picking cherries with your lovers and future children. A Crown of Sunlit Things really encapsulates my yearning and hope, which I think we could all use more of at times like these.

My new collection A Crown of Sunlit Things is available for preorder now. If my work has ever meant something to you, preorders make a huge difference for authors like me. Comments, reviews, and subscriptions help us reach more people without relying on big publishers and ad agencies. Thank you for being here 🫶🏻

Available on amazon, or pre-order a paperback from me! Paying members will be able to see the collection here on substack as well🫶🏻☺️